


A Truth Less Acknowledged

by curtaincall



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Bickering, Humor, M/M, Podfic Available, Pride and Prejudice (1995) - Freeform, Pride and Prejudice (2005) - Freeform, debates re: cinematic adaptations of classic literature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 20:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20264293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curtaincall/pseuds/curtaincall
Summary: “Well,” said Aziraphale frostily. “If you prefer an emotionally manipulative Brontë knockoff to a faithful rendering of the greatest satirical mind of the 19th century—”“And,” Crowley cut in, “everyone in the 2005 version is more attractive.”“My dear," said Aziraphale, outraged. “Colin Firth. Coming out of a pond.”Aziraphale discovers that Crowley has some Very Wrong Opinions about Jane Austen adaptations.





	A Truth Less Acknowledged

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JCutter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JCutter/gifts), [EmAndFandems](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmAndFandems/gifts).

> (this fic was formerly titled "the heart that you call home" but i changed it because i didn't feel it fit the _vibe_)

Crowley thwacked down a newspaper onto Aziraphale’s desk. “Read it and weep.”

Aziraphale carefully placed down his awl, set aside the millimeter binding he was working on, slid off his gloves, then—with the agonizing slowness and precision of an elderly lady punching her PIN into a credit card reader—picked up the paper. It was the _ Infernal Times _ , of course, and there, splashed across the front page, was a photo of the same grinning demon who stood next to him, below the headline: _ Hell’s Employee of the Decade, 2000-2010: Anthony J. Crowley _.

“Oh, how _ splendid _ for you,” Aziraphale said. “Is there an interview?”

“Thought you’d be impressed,” Crowley said in as nonchalant a manner as possible. “Interview’s on page 3.”

Aziraphale flipped to the indicated section, and Crowley watched as he read, tutting to himself from time to time. 

“Oh, _ look,” _ he said, delighted, “they’ve asked you your favourite human things. I must say that’s a nice touch. The _ Celestial Observer _ just doesn’t have the manpower for that level of detail. Which is odd,” he added, “because I _ do _think we’ve got plenty of journalists. All those muckrakers, you know.”

Crowley shook his head. “You’re forgetting. We’ve got _ all _the yellow journalists, the newspaper barons, everyone who’s ever worked for the Daily Mail…”

“Oh, quite right,” Aziraphale said, and resumed reading the article. “I don’t understand this bit that says your favourite book is _ ‘Swiss Family Robinson _in words of one syllable?’”

Crowley tapped on his phone a few times and held the screen up to Aziraphale’s face.

“As I took hold of my staff, I felt a gum or juice ooze out of the end. I put my tongue to it, and found it of a sweet taste. This led me to suck the reed…” the angel read aloud. “Oh, _ really, _Crowley.”

“What?” said Crowley, as innocently as was possible for someone who was the literal embodiment of original sin. “It’s sugarcane. Thought you _ liked _ sugar.”

Aziraphale sighed and went back to reading. “It says your favourite film is the 2005 version of _ Pride and Prejudice?” _ he asked, skeptically. _ “That _doesn’t seem very demonic.”

“No one Down There has actually _ seen _it,” Crowley protested. “They just know there’s two sins in the title. Very evil.”

“Is that _ really _ your favourite film?” Aziraphale asked, placing the newspaper back on the desk. “I thought you liked, what’s-it’s-name, _ Gildedfinger.” _

_ “Gold _finger,” said Crowley, “and I do, but. You know. Minds change.”

“But the _ 2005 _ version, my dear?” asked Aziraphale reproachfully, taking off his glasses. “That’s not even the best version of _ Pride and Prejudice.” _

“What are you talking about? ‘Course it is.”

“I really _ must _ disagree.” A faint—all right, maybe not so faint—note of condescension crept into Aziraphale’s tone. “Now, I realize you simply probably just haven’t _ seen _it, but there’s a really first-class miniseries that the BBC aired in 1995—”

“Oh, I’ve _ seen _ it,” snapped Crowley. “I’ve _ seen _every version. And the 2005 film is the best.”

Aziraphale shook his head. “But the 1995 is _ far _closer to the book—”

“Sod the _ book,” _ Crowley said. “If I wanted the _ book, _ I’d read the _ book. _ The, the lighting in the 1995 one, it’s all _ flat, _ the whole thing’s so _ stuffy, _ no one seems to be feeling any real _ emotion—” _

“Oh, and you think the _ emotion _ of that Wright abomination is more accurate? Please. Jane was a _ friend, _ and she would never have condoned anything so melodramatic as a love confession in the _ rain—” _

“It’s! Better! Cinema!” Crowley pounded on the desk, sending Aziraphale’s glasses flying to the floor (where they, miraculously, didn’t break). “You have to look at the film as a distinct work of _ art, _ not merely as an adaptation of the _ book, _ which frankly I wouldn’t slog my way through again if you _ paid _me!”

“Well,” said Aziraphale frostily. “If you prefer an emotionally manipulative Brontë knockoff to a faithful rendering of the greatest satirical mind of the 19th century—”

_ “And,” _Crowley cut in, “everyone in the 2005 version is more attractive.”

“My _ dear,” _ said Aziraphale, outraged. _ “Colin Firth. _ Coming out of a _ pond.” _

“Ha!” Crowley pointed at him triumphantly. “Ha, see, there you go. Fat lot of nerve you have, calling the 2005 version Gothic, when your precious _ satire _ has Firth standing around _ brooding _ all _ handsomely, _ like the inscrutable hero of some Harlequin paperback! Macfayden, now, Macfayden, he _ gets _ Darcy. Because the _ thing _ with Darcy is, the _ thing _ is, is that he’s awkward. And he’s not very good at expressing his emotions, and so he bottles them up and they come pouring out at the most inconvenient moments! It’s not that he thinks he’s _ better _ than everyone! It’s that he’s desperately afraid he’s _ worse—” _Crowley’s eyes met Aziraphale’s, just then, and he broke off abruptly, sucking in a long breath. “And I just don’t think Colin Firth gets that across, is all,” he finished. 

There was a pause.

“Well,” said Aziraphale, softly, after a moment, “perhaps I need to re-watch the 2005 version, then.”

“Not a bad idea,” Crowley tried to say, but instead it came out as “Nahbadah.”

Aziraphale seemed to understand, though. “I don’t suppose it’s available on VHS?”

“I’ve got the Blu-Ray,” Crowley offered. “You can come by sometime. If, you know. It’s convenient for you.”

“It’s a date, then."

_ “Aughk,” _ said Hell’s Employee of the Decade. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Emma (EmandFandems) for arguing with me about P&P adaptations and inspiring this fic, Jade (JCutter) for encouraging me to write it, and Rose (Iselmyr) for introducing me to the amazing work of literature that is "Swiss Family Robinson in words of one syllable."
> 
> Plz argue about your favorite Austen adaptations in the comments, I won't judge.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] A Truth Less Acknowledged, by curtaincall](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21829993) by [Thimblerig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thimblerig/pseuds/Thimblerig)
  * [Book Exchange](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21938875) by [minervamoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minervamoon/pseuds/minervamoon)


End file.
